The Ice Storm

A quote from the movie "The Ice Storm."

"I'm not good at Math, just good at Geometry. It's like you now when they say you have 2 squared, you think it mean 2 times 2 equals 4, but really they really mean a *square*. Its really space, its not numbers, its space. And it's perfect space. But only in your head, because you can't draw a perfect square in the material world. But in your mind, you can have a perfect space. You know?"

We are supposed to get an ice storm here in Portland tomorrow. I was advised to get to the store and get food and liquor to last the weekend. I argued that I have plenty of places I can go within walking distance only to be told that those places won't be open if the people who work in them can't get there. Duh. I suppose that makes sense. Blame it on the Cali-girl in me. It's my first winter in years and I am enjoying it thoroughly thus far. The freezing cold temperatures, the bright sun, the smoke from my breath, wearing hats and coats and boots. I love it all!

I was in a bad space the last time I blogged. Lonely and bored. An internal ice storm if there ever was one. I've thawed a bit since then. It's like the quote above about having the perfect space in your mind. That space is simpler in your mind than it is when played out in reality. I moved to Portland and had started to create the perfect space and then suddenly found I was in the middle of a self created ice storms. What? Actually, now that it has passed I'm okay with it.

Since than, over the past week, two people I knew passed away. One was a co-worker that I did not know very well but worked near for several years. The other, was a very old friend that I hadn't seen or spoken to in over 17 years. Both of them lived life outside the norm either by choice or by challenges given to them and yet they were both very bright lights on this earth. Their spirit will definitely live on in the memories of those people they touched throughout the years.

So this got me thinking. I'm alive. I'm healthy. I need to get over whatever it is going on in my head and get on with it. So I did, and I am and I will.

I got down to business. I figured out all my financial aid stuff for school finally and I registered for classes today. Done deal. I applied for jobs to make the government happy but ended up making myself feel good for the accomplishment. I upped my gym workouts this week and am completely addicted for the first time in my life. FINALLY. I saw the guy I had a crush on when I first moved here (found out today he does have a girlfriend) and after all these months was still able to make him blush a bright red. I reconnected with some of the good friends I was missing. And, here I am, blogging for a second time in a week.

All in all I would say, I am feeling good about tomorrow's ice storm. In fact, I am looking forward to it. For it will be a new experience, probably quite beautiful. While I may just have to sit the day out and watch the icicles form it will give me the perfect opportunity to enjoy a nice glass of red wine, maybe skype with a friend. If I am lucky, perhaps in the quiet I will discover another "perfect space" in my mind.

~ thank you John.
~ Renee