I've been in Santa Fe for just a little over a month now and have failed to write until now. So instead of trying to go back and write a play by play I am just going to start with where I am right now and what it is that I am trying to make sense of.
Living what you need. . . .
Why is it that we have such a need to fill every moment of everyday with non-sense? We have a million emails to answer or calls to return; Facebook walls to write on, planes to catch and meetings to make. Every task becomes more urgent then the last until one day we get a rude awakening or a sign that life should be more rewarding and meaningful. This can come in any form, health, job loss, death or illness of a loved one. These are bigger things than us alone. But why does it take so many signs to wake us up? Why are we always willing to go out on a limb for something or someone other than ourselves?
This was me on so many levels for so many years. I was always in search of the next best thing. Searching for something to make it better; trying to reward myself because I made it through another day. So I shopped too much, drank too much, spend exuberant amounts of money on booze and dinners, traveled as often as I could as far as I could get or as far as the corporate ball & chain allowed me to go. I had to play as hard as I worked to fill this black hole; happily denying its existence.
Most people think a yearly 2 week holiday is enough to make us feel happy and content but then you’re back, and spend the next 6 months planning your next great escape and counting the days. And counting the days to what exactly? Another over priced, mediocre vacation, held up in a hotel - whatever its rating. It’s just a way of filling the void, once again.
When we were younger we were taught to believe in our hopes and dreams. Why and when did we stop dreaming? Because it’s childish? Yeah it’s silly, you try and convince yourself. Besides, you’re a responsible adult with a good job. You make a good living and that should be enough. And then, someone pulls the rug out from under you and what do you do? . . . . . .You live. You live better then you’ve ever lived before. You discover things in life that you never knew you were missing until they stared you hard in the face.
So, are your dreams as foolish as you once thought? Are you willing to put it out there and hope for the best? Fool or not, you have nothing to lose. And if you fail you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on to something better.
Trust me, the things you thought were so important a year ago mean almost nothing today.
So what’s stopping you now?
Vickie
I love it!
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