Why Portland?

As my final days in Los Angeles creep closer, the question of the hour seems to be, "Why Portland? What's there? A job? A man?" Each time I am asked that question it catches me off guard just a little bit. After all, I have said for years that I would "NEVER" return to Portland. Never say never, cliche as it is...

It started out as a seed. Someone close to me planted it. After several months of unemployment and job search frustration I of course listened and then promptly said "no way."

A few weeks, and many many hours of job searching later I sat at my desk, head in my hands, and realized I was not only depressed, I was losing confidence in myself and my ability to do any kind of job. Looking for a job is very demoralizing if you ask me. If you aren't being rejected, you are being ignored. I let my finances keep me from going out and volunteering or spending time doing creative things I might have enjoyed. Instead, I made my job looking for a job. I would do things a lot differently if I had it to do over but I don't believe in spending time in regret.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. Money was running out, the depression was paralyzing me and the realization that I had to do something, anything, was all I could think about. "But what?" Hadn't I just spent the last 6 months obsessing over this exact thing? What to do? How to turn this time off into an opportunity? And then that same friend called. Hearing the the despair in my voice he threw me a rope. "Why don't you just come up here for a while. A friend of mine has a room you can rent for dirt cheap and you can store your stuff in my basement. It will be a change of scenery and shake things up, which is always good." The seed took sprout.

The decision to go was not an easy one. I stressed, vacillated, got second and third opinions and changed my mind several times. As I started to lean in a NW direction, interesting things started happening. I was offered an opportunity to work on a film. Something I have very recently become interested in. I was getting positive responses from employers I reached out to with inquiries. I was offered several places to stay from high school friends, friends of friends and family (my brother and second cousin live there) while I got settled. I had rooms for rent being offered through friends. All indicators pointed North.

If you ask me today, "why Portland," I would probably ramble off a list such as this:
It's a place I once called home. It's a very cool city with a lot happening in it. It's beautiful. It's super cheap, hopefully affording me the luxury of pursuing some new dreams and a completely new career. I have a few friends and a bit of family, providing me a small support system. It's green in color and thought. There is great food, beer and wine. The art scene is pretty great and being that it is smaller, may be a little easier to break into. Oh.... and there are hot guys there now! And, of course, last but not least.... COFFEE!

Today, as I only have a few final boxes to be packed... the plant has taken root. Maybe I don't seem so sure of my reasons when asked "Why Portland?" but I am going, and so I offer back... "Why not?" Change is good. No, actually, change is great!

Renee

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” - Henry David Thoreau