Documentary

At the table across from me there is a group of four people. Three documentary filmmakers and one person being interviewed. I am almost positive that I almost applied for an internship with these people. I didn't because they required that you be already enrolled in a school program in which you could receive college credit for the internship. They are on their 5th interview this morning.

The girl who is interviewing right now. She lived in St. John and worked on sail boats. She comes here from San Francisco. She is newish to Portland and came here because she can afford to "live" here. She couldn't afford to "live" in San Francisco anymore. She was "barely living." Funny. Small world. I probably wont meet this girl or see her ever again but we both lived in the Caribbean, we both come from California for similar reasons and we apparently share interests. Small world, synchronistic world.

There are no jobs to apply for so far today. None. Seriously.

I spent yesterday with my best friend's family. I bought my first Father's day card ever. We ate ribs and salad. After the parents left we celebrated best friend's brother's birthday with a glass of wine and HBO's True Blood.

I heart Eric. Six foot four hunk of vampire with foils in his hair asking "is there blood in my hair?" Why is that so hot?

Tomorrow I am going to the beach for three days. Wheeler. See picture of my little B&B above. Nothing special but my room has a view of the bay and I'll have the internet. I'll look for a job, book movers, deal with things that have been too much of a hassle until now. Not being able to be on the net and phone at the same time poses challenges sometimes. I'll write. I'll chill. I'll photograph. I'll walk.

I can't wake up today. Is it obvious? I'm on my second Iced Americano and just starting to feel normal, awake.

If there are no jobs. I will have no choice but to go to school. I think this is a good thing. Not that I was losing my steam. There is just something about not working that, after a while, makes you feel like you need to be working.... not following your dreams. Not working is not the problem. It's being supported by the government that is the problem. Kind of demoralizing after a while for me. I feel a lot of guilt about it some times. If I were just rich I would have none of these issues. Oh, if only.

Thank you for reading~Renee

Hunger is not the worst feature of unemployment; idleness is. ~William E. Barrett