Far From Home

(THE GORGE..MAJESTIC BEAUTY!)

Far from home is how I felt last week when I hit the road for Spokane. It's also the song that sort of became my road trip theme song on the way up (sung by Liz Durrett). It's a moody song. I was moody. That is, until I got to the Gorge. OH. MY. GOD! I don't know if I was just to young when I lived here before, to appreciate the beauty of Oregon, but it blows my mind now. Sculpted plateaus, Hood River, Multnomah Falls, various damns, the Palouse in Washington. The five and half hours to Spokane are easy on the eyes in comparison the dreadful Los Angeles to San Francisco trip of equal distance up the I-5. Nothing like majestic beauty to pull you out of your funk. That, and a little sunshine!

(PALOUSE..HUGE SKY, ROLLING PLAINS, MESMERIZING!)


I went up to Spokane to get away from everything, to see a good friend, have some girl time and come back refreshed. It worked. Sarah (my ex, Blaine's, sister) and I had a great time. We intended to go crazy (partying it up, out on the town) but it never happened. Instead we both had some much needed girl time. We drank wine, went out for margaritas and mexican, shopped, got pedicures, played Rock Band (I played the drums, she played the guitar. I scored a 48% my very first try. Maybe I should take drum lessons?), drank more wine, counseled each other, watched True Blood, talked about every chick flick and hot celebrity on earth and laughed ourselves silly to "The Hangover." It was fantastic!

On the road trip back I felt lighter. I was heading "home" and rocking out to Kings of Leon, Phoenix and a couple of "up" mixed cd's I made. It was a gorgeous day out yesterday.

A funny thing happened on my way home.

I received a call from a woman that used to work for me, that I have befriended. We were supposed to connect before I left LA but things got crazy and I just didn't manage to make it happen. So yesterday, she called to tell me she'd been thinking about me all week. Her thoughts had apparently been sort of chaotic when she thought about me and she just wanted/needed to check in with me. I asked her if she had been reading the blog. She had not. Intuition is a trip! She just wanted to make sure I was okay and to tell me to take things one day at a time. Similarly, last Thursday, I received a random email from my old boss saying hello and letting me know he was enjoying the blog. He too was checking up on me and my rough start. He offered me some very good advice I intend to take.

As I drove back to the city I am now to call home, I realized that I am not alone at all.

I may be in a new city surrounded by strange faces but, out there in the world...California, New York, Ireland, Barbados, etc... I am surrounded by love. The love of good friends. I was watching an episoded of HBO's "In Treatment" the other day. There is a character that has cancer but hasn't told anyone but her therapist; not her parents or her friends. She is probably in her early 20's and if she doesn't get chemotherapy she will die, quickly. In this particular episode, she is telling Paul (therapist) that she had a bad dream and woke up thinking she was dying. She had a friend come over who called an ambulance. While in the ambulance she was asked if she was on any treatments or medications. She said "Just chemo." Her friend's jaw dropped that this was the first time she was hearing about it. Paul asks why she doesn't talk to this friend about it? ask her for support? haver her take her to chemo, etc? He asks her why it's ok for her to be there for all of her friends and her family (including her autistic brother) and why she can't ask for help from others? Her reply is simply "Not everyone is like me." I felt like I was watching a story about myself (sans cancer). There is a lesson here that is not lost on me. As no less than 2 friends put it in the past 48 hours it's "my shit." Thank you.

So today, Tuesday, I start fresh. I have the support of good friends, family and the comfort of the local internet cafe. I finally got my unemployment and mail situations worked out. I am a week closer to moving into my own place. I've been invited to have margaritas on Friday and celebrate Father's day with my BFF's family on Sunday. I am officially looking for a job starting today. I am no longer far from home. The sun is fighting to come out. Neko Case is playing in the cafe...

Let the adventure begin (again).
~Renee